It's not about the FOOD!

Day 10 and I'm down 8 lbs.  Actually, I'm a little disappointed because the first few days I was averaging a pound a day but then I have to remind my self that I HAVE LOST 8 LBS IN 10 DAYS!  That is crazy!  And it's been easy!  Yes, I said it...it's been easy!  Granted I had one day that was a struggle but I knew that would happen.  As long as I keep my goal in mind and plan ahead with my meals it is easy to stick to.  I'm already smaller than I was in high school and 8 more lbs and I will be smaller than I was in college when I went on the "all diet pills and protein shakes diet".

So why is it so much easier than I thought?  Could it be that I'm older and more mature now?  Ha ha!  I don't think so.  One reason is I have a dear friend doing this with me.  She calls me several times a day to keep me motivated and to let me vent.  I know that this would be much more of a struggle without her but I know the main reason is because I am ready this time.  I have been preparing for this for a year and a half.  I know that being overweight and bad eating habits aren't about the food!  It's not about the food tasting good.  I've found myself mindlessly eating things that I don't even like.  Food is my drug.  I don't drink, smoke or do drugs...I use food to get high.  I always have since I was a little girl.  I learned at a very early age that there is nothing that a chocolate chip cookie (or a dozen) can't fix. 

For over a year I have been asking myself "WHY?"  Why do I feel the need to self medicate with food?  I've had a lot of emotions come up during this process.  I've cried a lot, I've prayed a lot, I've beat up my heavy bag a lot and luckily I have amazing friends that have helped me talk through these feelings.  I am not healed and probably never will be but now I have learned to face my emotions instead of turning to the pantry.