I'm a cheater and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Day 5 was by far my worst day yet!  I've had a head cold for the past few days so getting in my normal workout has been difficult because I can't breathe but I've still powered through it.  Today was different.  I didn't feel good.  On my way home from the gym I had a sick feeling in my stomach.  Slightly nauseous, maybe low blood sugar.  Usually my first reaction is to eat crackers (goldfish or cheezits) and drink pepsi or sweet tea but this time I didn't do it.  I did eat a slice of turkey bacon (my new favorite snack) and drank some water.  After a few minutes I felt better.
Later, after talking to my friend who is doing a similar program but is a few weeks ahead of me, I realized that what happened earlier was a sugar withdrawal!  Wow, my body was trying to trick me into thinking I was sick to get me to eat sugar - CRAZY!  I stayed strong the rest of the day until after dinner, the time I always crave something sweet.  I actually imagined myself ripping open all of Bryson's M&M fun packs from Halloween and pouring them in my mouth or opening all the small packs of oreos (that Bryson takes to school for lunch) and seeing how many I can cram in my mouth at one time but I resisted.  For dessert Bryson had an ice cream sandwich.  He just lost a tooth minutes before so I cut the sandwich up for him so he didn't have to bite it.  Out of habit I licked the knife...big mistake!  Now I really wanted sugar!  Lucky for me (not really) Bryson didn't finish his ice cream sandwich, he left 1 tiny little bite on his plate and before I could get the plate from the table to the sink I had crammed it in my mouth.  Immediately I felt sick!  Not physically sick but emotionally sick.  What had I done?!  Was one bite of ice cream sandwich really worth it?  NO WAY!! 
In the past that would be the end of my weight loss journey...cheat once and you're out...try again next year but not this time.  This time I'm owning my mistake.  I'm putting on my big girl panties and I'm going to power through because that's what you do when you are tough - never give up!
Actually, I'm glad that I cheated.  I have not been that disappointed in myself in a long time and I never want to feel that way again.