It's that time of year again...time to make my New Year's Resolution. This year I'm not going to vow to lose weight or get healthy. Those are too cliche for me. As a matter of fact, the regulars at the gym hate this time of year. It's the time of year that OUR gym is taken over by the "new year's resolutionists"! Our parking lots are always full, our treadmills are all taken and our classes are crowded. This usually lasts from January until March then the crowd starts clearing. Very few newbies last much longer than that. LOL! Four years ago on New Year's Day I joined the gym. Yes, it was open! I had my orientation and evaluation that day. I remember stepping on the scale and seeing that number for the first time...225! I knew it was bad but didn't know it was THAT bad. I had gained 40 lbs in 9 months which is almost what I gained when I was pregnant with Bryson but this time there was no baby...just a lot of chocolate chip cookie dough to blame. How does someone gain 40 lbs and not realize it? Stretchy pants and a lot of denial! I look at pictures from back then and I want to cry. I don't even look like myself. I looked like "fat Monica" from Friends.
The Jennifer I see in those pictures was very sad even though she had an incredible smile on her face. She had a great job, a beautiful child, a wonderful husband...the perfect life but was miserable. I was most definitely an Eeyore back then always focusing on what everyone else had instead of appreciating what I had. I was a people pleaser trying to make everyone happy but myself. The sad thing is it took my mother dying at age 50 for me to realize that life is too short to be unhappy.
The Christmas before my mom died, before we even knew she was sick, I remember her telling me about her New Year's Resolution. She said, "This year I'm going to start doing things for myself. I have spent my entire life doing things for my husband, children and my entire family but I never do anything for myself. That is getting ready to change." I will always remember those words. Unfortunately, my mom died in March that year so she never got a chance to do anything for herself.
My New Year's Resolution this year is not to lose weight or get healthy...blah,blah,blah...it's to do things that make ME happy.
1 comment:
That's why I run. I do it for me and no one else. I make myself take the time to go and I enjoy it. I don't feel guilty. I work really hard to not associate it with losing weight. I only try to make it about making me feel good. I think your resolution is a great one! It's achievable and if you do it- you'll feel great. If you dont-you'll feel the same way you do now. ;-)
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